It’s feels odd to be posting after such a long absence, but I wanted to share my news with you guys (if any of you are still reading!). I am finally pregnant! It’s early days yet (I’m only at 5 weeks), and we aren’t even telling many people until I’m in the 2nd trimester (because the risk of miscarriage is highest in the first trimester), but I thought I could at least share with you people.
As many of you know, this has been a very long time in coming.
To recap (grab some tea, it’s going to be a long one):
(If this kind of saga bores you, skip to the conversation between me and Husband)
I first started wanting a baby after I turned 30 (7 years ago), but was in grad school and wanted to wait until I was done. And then grad school dragged on and on (and on) and then it became really complicated because Husband took a job that was half a continent away and I was still in Grad School City. That situation continued for approximately three years. And then, Husband and I were united, but I still had to write my thesis and defend. And, I was trying to get on as low a dose with my meds (antidepressants) before getting pregnant which unfortunately backfired on us and we had to wait until I became stable again. And then we decided to wait until after I defended because trying to get pregnant is not all rainbows and unicorns and I was under enough stress already. Then, last spring I finally, finally defended. So you’d think we’d be all clear, but then I was trying to get off of my restless legs medication because there’s no information about it regarding pregnancy in humans (boy, do I have a rant about that). That didn’t work either (despite trying acupuncture, yes, you read right, acupuncture, apparently there’s a study going on at Stanford that shows that it has some affect on restless legs). So, we had to wait until that was all sorted out because I was getting about 3 hours of sleep a night. So, for those of you keeping track, that takes us to last September. I did a search, found an ob that I liked (more about that another time) and then we actually started trying to get pregnant.
Except, it was still rather complicated because Husband travels for his work. A lot. And sometimes that coincided with with ovulation. Or he was leaving the day I was ovulating (in one memorable case, I was ovulating on a Sunday so I went to teach Sunday school, then skipped church, came home and we had approximately 15 minutes before he had to leave for the airport). Or it was the holidays and we were traveling so much that we decided not to complicate our lives any further by tracking ovulation. Given that ovulation and Husband being home were often not coinciding, we even (briefly) discussed artificial insemination to get around this traveling thing.*
So, it was complicated. And, emotionally stressful, which doesn’t help, of course. But, we were trying when we could and if, after 6 cycles of trying, we didn’t get pregnant, my ob wanted me to come back (because I’m over 35 and we don’t have a lot of time in which to mess around). Actually she said 6 months, but I felt we couldn’t count the months when we missed each other during ovulation.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I got a call from my mother. My sister was pregnant. Again. And this time, she was on the pill and she still got pregnant. You may wonder at my reaction considering I was trying to get pregnant without success while sis was trying to not get pregnant without success. Well, I laughed. Granted, it was laughter with a tinge of hysteria, but I laughed. The situation was so ridiculously absurd that there was nothing I could do but laugh. Needless to say, it was not the reaction my mother was expecting. We talked for awhile, hung up, and then I took a nap for two hours (I had been feeling very tired lately). I woke up having to go to the bathroom** and I thought, damn it, it’s only a few days before my period is officially late, I’m going to use a pregnancy test. So, I drove to the drugstore, picked up some prescriptions and a box of three tests, went home, and peed on a stick. And waited. And waited. And then, to my shock and surprise, it said Pregnant. Not, Not Pregnant. Pregnant. There was really no mistaking the result. And yet, I stared at the test in disbelief. I walked out of the bathroom and came back in and stared at it some more. I took the test out to the dining room table and stared at it some more. It still said Pregnant.
At this point, I decided to call Husband who was traveling (of course) but was on his way home and coincidentally happened to be in Denver on a layover. I told him the news. He was appropriately delighted.
Me: I don’t believe it. I don’t believe the test.
Husband: [Concerned] You don’t believe the test?
Me: No. I mean, I don’t have any reason to disbelieve it except that it seems too good to be true.
Husband: Yes, I can see what you mean.
Me: I’m going to take it again. It’s only one test. What if it’s malfunctioning?
Husband: Yes. Yes, you need to replicate the result. That’s the only way to be sure.
So, in the meantime, I was home alone with this Really Big News an no one to talk to, so I skyped my mother. I kept the test by me, and would look at it every so often, sure it would change to Not Pregnant. But, it didn’t. And the next morning, I used the second test AND I used one of these little test strips I had (which can be more difficult to read because the test band might be very faint) and they both registered pregnant. So, you’d think I’d be reassured.
But I wasn’t.
I talked with my good friend, A, about it (who is sworn to secrecy).
Me: It all seems too good to be true, so I tested again today. With two different methods. And they both say that I’m pregnant.
Me: I think I’m going to test again tomorrow.
Me: I don’t know, I just can’t believe it.
So, the next morning, I woke up and tested, and, indeed, the test registered that I was pregnant. And the test line was darker. And then I tested the next morning and the test line was darker still. So, that was five–count ’em–five positive results.
People, I am pregnant. After 7 years of wanting to have a child, I am pregnant. For reals. I have 5 test results. I’m calling the doctor on Monday.
But, I still might take a pregnancy test that morning. You know. Just to be safe.
*You may be wondering why I didn’t just go with him. Well, for one thing, my cycles are a little irregular in length and so it is nearly impossible to predict when I will ovulate more than 10 days before the big event. The second issue is money. All of that traveling gets expensive after awhile, particularly if you would be buying plane tickets less than 2 weeks in advance.
**This was important because you are supposed to wait several hours after the last time you urinated before testing and because I drink a lot of water (and tea), that means I usually have to wait until after I first get up.