This blog has been in my thoughts quite a bit lately.  Usually, I think something along the lines of, “Hey, I should post something to the blog,” and then I start composing a post in my head and that’s all the further it gets.  The truth is, I’m not sure what to say.  I don’t know how this blog fits into my life now, if it fits at all.  My blog fell pretty solidly into the “disgruntled grad student” category of blogs and, well, I’m no longer a disgruntled grad student.  I’m also not doing any science whatsoever, so the blog doesn’t really fit into the science blog category, either.  Perhaps that’s part of the problem, I’m not sure what I am anymore.  I’m not a grad student and I’m not doing science.  Those two things were such key elements of my life for so long, I’m not sure who I am without them.

Right now, the only category you can really put me in is “housewife.”  This is an unusual designation for a modern woman.  Especially since I’m not currently aspiring to any other occupation.  Well, I suppose you could say I’m aspiring to be a stay at home mom.  But, that’s not the kind of thing you can tell people at a cocktail party (recently, I was obliged to hobnob with Husband’s colleague, an activity I dreaded because inevitably people ask me, “So, what are you doing now that you’ve graduated?”).

I do feel much better than I did in my last post and I think this is partially because I have found something concrete to focus my energy on.  I am volunteering to teach Sunday school at my church.  I’m teaching 1st-3rd grade children and it has been pretty crazy thus far.  The program we are using is Montessori-based and we are just starting up at this church.  Montessori education involves a lot of materials and mostly they need to be handmade.  So, for about a month I worked on making materials every weekday. We have had three classes so far and each time I feel I’m in a little over my head.  But, it gives me a purpose and a sense of belonging to something bigger than myself.  And that’s a good thing.

4 thoughts on “Hello

  1. I’m so glad you’ve found a focus for now. And something that must also be quite rewarding (I am a former Sunday school teacher myself, I loved it too). Happy to hear from you whenever you find time/energy to write

  2. I haven’t come up with a decent answer to the “what are you doing next” question. But I am convinced that it would be a bad idea to rush to a premature answer. When I was younger, I always knew what was next. I have never been lost like this before. It just takes time to get over the shock of escaping your former life. It will be a little while before you are really in a position to think clearly about what you want to do next. Or actually, I am just projecting my experience onto you. It is taking me a lot of time to sort out which things about science life I want to keep, and which things I want to ditch. The book “what color is your parachute” has helped me do this a bit more systematically. And you don’t need to be looking for a job to find it useful—its really about defining what you want your life to look like/who you want to be.

    As for your blog, I can see how it must be difficult to figure out what to write about. Here is my thought: I think the diaspora out of science has no meaningful voice. This is part of what makes it so hard for people to imagine alternative lives for themselves, the post-science majority is silent. I just think that your post-science experiences are still very relevant and interesting to people still in science. Maybe it isn’t post, maybe it is just interlude of indefinite length or purpose…but whatever it is, it can’t hurt to document it.

  3. as the name implies, i am still figuring it out as well – so you are not alone. it’s a dreadful question sometimes isn’t it? maybe you should say i’ll get back to you on that one instead of having to feel like you have to have a really concrete answer/plan. wishing you well from the lab.

  4. It’s interesting how our identities get so wrapped up in what takes most of our time each day.

    For the first 6 months of my intern year I played the role of physician for most of my waking hours. On off days I’d try to catch up on sleep. When I started an elective and had free time on my hands this year I felt an identity crisis of sorts.

    I haven’t solved it just yet, but I know I want to be able to say that I’m more than just my profession. I hope you’re making great progress in your own identity quest after achieving a major goal.

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