Well, I’m at Dulles waiting for my connecting flight and enjoying the free wireless. The anxiety is at a manageable level. My thoughts started to race when I was on the plane so I took my panic attack med and I’m feeling better. Still antsy, though. Can’t believe I’m going to have to spend another hour waiting to board, then an hour on the plane. I’ve come this far, I just want to be there already!
After my last post when I said I was going to the conference, I changed my mind about five times and had a panic attack so bad I almost called the whole thing off. I’m glad I didn’t. I’m starting to get excited about going to the conference and I think things will be okay. I hope. Okay, in optimistic moments, I think everything will be okay. And, I’m having more and more optimistic moments.
The anxiety problems are really starting to become scary. I don’t ever remember being this bad before. My doctor says I’ve hit the bottom and it’s only up from here, but I’m not so sure. Or, at least, I’m a little concerned about how long I’m going to remain at bottom before things get better.