3/4 the way there

Well, I’m at Dulles waiting for my connecting flight and enjoying the free wireless.  The anxiety is at a manageable level.  My thoughts started to race when I was on the plane so I took my panic attack med and I’m feeling better.  Still antsy, though.  Can’t believe I’m going to have to spend another hour waiting to board, then an hour on the plane.  I’ve come this far, I just want to be there already!

After my last post when I said I was going to the conference, I changed my mind about five times and had a panic attack so bad I almost called the whole thing off.  I’m glad I didn’t.  I’m starting to get excited about going to the conference and I think things will be okay.  I hope.  Okay, in optimistic moments, I think everything will be okay.  And, I’m having more and more optimistic moments.

The anxiety problems are really starting to become scary.  I don’t ever remember being this bad before.  My doctor says I’ve hit the bottom and it’s only up from here, but I’m not so sure.  Or, at least, I’m a little concerned about how long I’m going to remain at bottom before things get better.

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6 thoughts on “3/4 the way there

  1. I hope things get better and it’s great that you are getting excited about the conference! Have fun!!!!

  2. You’re doing awesome – just look how far you’ve gotten already! I hope you have a great time at the conference, and remember to take hotel-room breaks from time to time to save your sanity 🙂

  3. I imagine it’s nice, in a way, to know where the bottom is, especially if it means going to a conference still fits into that. I’ve always been afraid to find out where/what that space would be for me. I don’t think I’m as able as you seem to be when things are “bad” (whatever that means).

    Glad to know you’ve arrived safely and are wending your way through conference-land okay.

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