Sweeping out the cobwebs

Hi, remember me?  I used to blog around here pretty regularly once upon a time!

The unintended blog hiatus was caused by me getting used to living in California with my husband (incidentally, if there’s anyone out there who lives in the LA area and would like to get together for tea/coffee sometime, shoot me an email).  It’s been, well, interesting.

First, California:

  1. Seafood is cheaper than meat here, which is the opposite of the midwest.
  2. The Farmer’s Market has fresh seafood and locally grown citrus and avacados which is WAY different from the midwest.
  3. The sun is really intense here.  My husband tells me this is not my imagination.
  4. It’s really hot these days but at night it cools off to 70 degrees or so which is awesome.
  5. The yarn stores have very small sections for sock yarn.  Funny how nobody wants to make wool socks around here.

Now, living with Husband.  It’s been, well, weird.  In the beginning, it really felt like we were starting our relationship all over again which was not a very good feeling at all.  I had a really hard time getting used to having someone in my space.  I’m the kind of person who likes to have her own space and we live in a rather small one-bedroom apt.  At first, I couldn’t decide if the problem was that I specifically didn’t want Husband around (an upsetting idea) or if I didn’t want anyone around in general (a much more manageable idea, but still a problem in this apt.).  I had a few torturous days dealing with that!

Then, there was the fact that I really felt like I was moving into Husband’s place, not our place.  For awhile, I really felt homeless, even after all of my stuff arrived, particularly because there was no place to put my stuff.  Our bed is now four feet high because I had to buy risers to put under the legs so we could store stuff there and there are two huge rubbermaid containers full of winter clothes and coats and blankets and stuffed animals because there’s no place to put them.  At first, there was no place to put my clothes at all, we had to buy a dresser from IKEA (putting that together was a joy, let me tell you).  The funny thing is, just about everything in the apt. is stuff we bought together or that I collected at one point or another.  But, having been away from it for 2.5 years, it didn’t feel like it was mine anymore.  Husband found this particularly upsetting because he says he always thought of this as our apt., but even so, both of us were saying things like, “Do you have a [ ]?” (instead of, “Do we have a [ ]?”).

Things are getting better, though.  I’ve been decorating and rearranging things and putting up pictures, all of which make this place feel more like home.  Husband and I are getting used to each other and I no longer freak out about someone being around all of the time (that one required a medication change; thankfully my psychiatrist does phone appointments).  I found two knitting groups and a church I like and yarn stores and have been to tea twice.  So, I’m definitely on an upswing.  We’ll see how it goes.

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10 thoughts on “Sweeping out the cobwebs

  1. Hey, I am in LA part time. I am sending you an email. We should have coffee or whatev.

  2. It’s definitely not easy restarting a life with someone you’ve lived away from for so long. When my husband and I did our first long-distance stint, we weren’t married yet. Rejoining each other in the same city required a merging of our daily routines and material possessions that we hadn’t really tried before. It took at least a year to get it to feel right, I think.

    This second time around, we had the good fortune of moving into a house right when I got back, so we were both, in a way, starting from scratch with how and where we wanted our stuff, how we wanted to set up our routines in a new space. There are still definitely “his” things and “my” things, though, as there always were in our previous apartment. I did think of that place as more his than ours until I started decorating parts of it when I visited. And I think it’s normal to feel that way. Hopefully things continue to feel more and more so for you too :).

  3. Welcome back! I’m sorry the living arrangement was tough to get used to, but I guess that’s to be expected after living apart for so long. It sounds like things are much better.

    I hope you start writing regularly again! I’ve missed you! 😀

  4. I’m glad you’re back! I’ve been wondering how things were going. Good that you’re getting into the swing of things together. Are you writing now too?

  5. Yay! You’re back. It was difficult when Dr. Man and I started living together again. Especially since he moved into the house after I had. So, I always felt like he was invading my space. Eventually we got back into the swing of things. It was much easier this time around than when we first started living together.

    • Amanda, I’m pretty sure I would have felt the same way (like he was invading my space) if Husband had moved into my apt instead of the other way around!

  6. So glad to read the update. I went through the same thing the 2 times Husband and I have moved in to the same space after only one of us being there for a while…. I remember sitting in the middle of the living room floor with a cardboard box of my “stuff” that had no home in “our” new place and sobbing. It’s hard to adjust, but it sounds like you’re starting to settle in. Glad to hear about the great food supply and church and yarn stores (even if they have a crappy supply of sock wool 🙂 ).

    • Jenn, I had the exact same experience, only I was sobbing because I was living out of a suitcase because there was no space in the two dressers we already had for my stuff. Then, it was because there was no room in the apartment for the stuff that was arriving in boxes. I will be so glad when we move to a new apt. and can start fresh (also, we are going to look for a 2 bedroom place, so more space for me and my stuff).

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