Currently, there is a student in the lab who is preparing to defend in about two weeks. Then, in the beginning of June, she will be starting a position doing science outreach. Which is fantastic. Good for her.
However, she has taken to saying to me (in the presence of most of the rest of the lab) that she really envies me and that she wishes she could have had the option of finishing the way I am doing it (that is, take off from the lab to write her thesis) and how relaxing that would be, and how lucky I am, etc., etc.
If she says any of that to me one more time, I may drop a PCR machine on her head.
I have pointed out to her that she will be graduating long before me (even though she started a year after me). I have also pointed out that I will not be getting paid while I’m writing my thesis–this is my last quarter to receive a stipend.
What I really want to say is something like this:
“Look, you stupid bitch, I’m not doing this because I have a real choice. I’m doing this because I am sick in the head and if I don’t do it this way, I’ll never get my degree at all. God knows when I’ll be able to graduate. God knows if I will, in fact, be able to function as a normal productive member of society ever again. So shut the fuck up.”
This is a little unfair. While everyone in the lab knows I’ll be writing my thesis in California, most people do not know why. And, it probably wouldn’t bother me so much except that I know this girl and I know that she is deliberately doing this to point out that she is graduating and I am not. And, that I hate, hate, hate having this stupid disease and I hate that it’s affecting my life so much and I hate that I’m different from everybody else. But most of, right now, I hate her.
I cannot wait to get out of here.