TO: Everyone I know
FROM: Mrs Whatsit
My doctor has been urging me to recruit support and tell people how they can help me get better. So, here goes.
You folks may not be aware of this, because I don’t talk about it with you guys much (or at all–I’m looking at you, Mother-In-Law), but Husband and I would really, really like to have a baby. Really. We have been putting it off because we live hundreds of miles apart (and anyway I’m having enough emotional problems without my hormones all going out of whack, too) but we’re hoping that, in a few months, we can start trying to have our own little bundle of joy.
The yearning has been such that I once started tearing up while shopping for a diaper genie for my sister’s first child (and this was before I started crying at the drop of a hat). It’s even starting to affect Husband. I mean, he was pretty stoic when we first found out my sister is expecting another baby (any day now, actually; and we really thought we were safe from her since she just had a baby in the summer of 2007; btw, stop flaunting your fertility, Sis. Stop.It.) and when we found out that my brother and his wife are expecting a baby (at the end of May). But Husband lost his cool earlier this week when we found out that his brother and sister-in-law are now expecting a baby in October (there may be a small amount of sibling rivalry involved here because he was also pretty pissed a year ago when he heard his brother–who is younger than him–bought a house). To quote Husband, “Dammit, that’s another couple younger than us who are having a baby and we’re not and who knows when we’ll be able to!”
Now, I’m genuinely happy for all of the parents-to-be (as is Husband, of course). Truly. They are understandably excited and I am excited for them (you know, in addition to being insanely jealous) and I will shower those little babies with gifts of knitted things like everybody’s crazy aunt always does. But, really, it would be so much better for my mental health if it didn’t seem like everyone else I know is getting to have babies. So, I need you all to put a sock on it (so to speak). Cease and desist with the reproduction, people. Just for a few months. You can practice all you want, just hold off on the actual procreative aspect of it for a little while. At the very least, just don’t tell me you’re going to have a baby. Let’s say until July. After that, you can go to town.
Thank you for your understanding.
P.S. I think I can probably handle one more person telling me they are expecting a baby. Please decide amongst yourselves who that person will be. Thx.