Everyone is having babies except me

One of my goals for my post-grad school life is to have a baby.  For awhile, I had raging baby fever and really thought if I didn’t get to have a baby soon, I was going to go crazy.  Now, that fever has died back a little, but I still ache whenever I see a pregnant woman or a baby.

So, that makes it really hard when I get a phone call from my mother telling me that my sister is pregnant (again!) and my sister-in-law is also pregnant.

I’m happy for them, I am, but I’m sad for me.  There was a time in my life that I didn’t care one way or another about having children but that time passed about 4 years ago and now it just seems totally unfair that everyone seems to be getting what it is that I want.  I know I need to finish grad school.  I know I need to actually be in the same place as my husband (this would facilitate getting pregnant and be useful when I have an infant to take care of).  But, I hear about these babies and nothing else seems to matter.


10 thoughts on “Everyone is having babies except me

  1. I’m sorry! It is a crazy-strong urge! Once the end is in sight (ie less than 6 months – for SURE!) then I say go for it (if you can time your visits right) because that’ll just be extra motivation to actually finish! and you won’t be in the ‘sick’ phase while you defend, which would be awful. Sometimes you just gotta go for it on the personal side and let the professional side work itself out. Good luck!

  2. I completely sympathize. I was nearly irrational when I saw pregnant women, little babies, shows on TV about women having kids they didn’t want (then why have them? I would wail. Give them to meeee!). Now that I have a kid, I sometimes wistfully look at my kidfree friends, at the ability to make decisions only in the context of myself and to some degree my partner… and while I am so so glad I have a kid and think the timing was right, I am also glad for all those years I didn’t. Even if it made my heart ache.

  3. Oh, I know that feeling well. Just as my ex and I were thinking about taking the plunge, it turned out he wasn’t so on board with things. He cheated, I moved to a new job across the country, we divorced … and I had a few years of despair that all was lost. Of course, that was the exact time when all of my friends started having kids in rapidfire.

    Like Kate said, looking back I’m glad for the adventures I had during those years just as I’m glad for the little one expanding so quickly in my belly right now. But that doesn’t mean those years didn’t have their share of sadness.

  4. I don’t even want to have kids (at all!!!!!) and I know *exactly* what you’re talking about. I feel like everybody else is out there actually living their lives, whether that be having babies or doing whatever else it is they’re doing, and i’m just still in school, putting off buying a house with my husband, and *living with* my husband until I graduate. It feels like everything is on hold ‘until I graduate.’ I resent the hours I have to spend on laundry and errands, because those are chunks of time I can’t be working on what’s going to get me out of here….I even put off smaller, silly things like putting together the photo album from the last trip we took, because, hey that’d be three evenings I could spend working on my dissertation. three evenings closer to taking my life off hold and living it like I see everyone else doing.

  5. i can totally sympathize… one of my friends told me about the 30-something urge to have a baby but at the time i didn’t really know what she was talking about and sorta just said “hmm, really?” … now i know … it sort of creeps up on you too (me, anyway). i think it’s even made more potent when you’re with a SO.
    hang in there … you know what you need to do and you know what you want (most ppl aren’t even there yet, me included!). we’re rooting for you !

  6. Hey I know how you feel. I have been trying for 3 months now to get pregnant and nothing. And I see all these people around me getting pregnant around me that are not even trying. It is very discouraging. When You want one so bad and others who could care less are getting them and your not. Hope you get pregnant and get what you want. And me too. =}

  7. Yea, I feel your pain. My sister has had 5 children. My baby brother one. I even have neice and 2 newphews that have had kids…. Here I am 34…still no baby. I am healthy so says the DR….Sadly awaiting my turn.

  8. Its just not fair, I see and know of a lot of women who have had more than one or two abortions or even abused and neglected their babies. But someone who loves children with all of her heart and soul cant have one. I have been trying for years and years and all I get is nothing. I really hate to sound selfish but I can not help how I feel. I feel like God would rather give crack head ***s and teenagers a baby rather than me. I just do not for the life of me understand why I can not have a baby….I feel so angry and hurt I dont know what to do. My family does not understand what I am going thru, hence they all have kids….

  9. I know exactly what you mean. After awhile it seems like no matter where you go, someone you know or hate is having beautiful bundles of joy. One day you will have a baby. I don’t know you but I’m sure your time will come. I deal with this a lot too. I am so baby hungry it kills me to see a little baby. Yes, your going to be happy for them but sometimes you just gotta get away and work on yourself. That is what I’m doing and so far it’s helping. I hope you find ease in your journey and Good luck. (:

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