Yesterday, Advisor and I went to the microscope and looked at my slide and he says, “Yes, that looks like a beautiful wild-type pattern.” Thus confirming what I already knew but deep down in my soul hoped was wrong. Then we talked about What To Do Next. He liked the experiments I had already thought of and agreed that they were the next course of action. (Aside: It always makes me feel good when I propose a course of action and Advisor agrees to it because it confirms that I really have learned a lot and can think scientifically)
I was talking with R who asked how I was doing with all of this and I told her I was just moving forward as best I can. I was really really angry on Saturday when I got the result, but I don’t have time to wallow in that feeling or to feel sorry for myself or any of the rest of it. Yes, I was angry. Yes, I was upset and briefly felt like the universe was out to get me. Yes, I am worried about what this means for my thesis. But, time moves on and I need to move with it. That sucked–on with the next experiment! I’m supposed to be having a committee meeting soon and I want as much data as I can possibly obtain to give to them so that they can help me decide on what the thesis (journal article) will look like.
In addition to growing as a scientist in grad school, I have grown as a person. There was a time not so long ago that I could not easily have moved forward. In fact, I probably would not have been able to get out of bed for a day or two after such a thing had happened. So being able to move forward so soon after a Bad Thing happens is a huge improvement over where I used to be. And that makes me feel good, too!